with your own penis?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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