Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
