so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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