dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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