I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
