Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
