My hand turned me down
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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