Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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