Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we're so committed to being not committed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
