she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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