i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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