i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
