Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
