yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
