i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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