how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
