seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
