The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
