whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
