she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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