bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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