Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
