Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
