I want to make a zoo with you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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