there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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