I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
