apparently the secret to your success is patron
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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