Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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