Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
