just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
