i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
