I'm gonna have a badass scar
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
