so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
