idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize