I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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