I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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