Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
