I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
