yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
