He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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