All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
