I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
