Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
