Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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