a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize