Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am spending my child support on dildos
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
