There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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