like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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