I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
