You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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