She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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