I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
