i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
whose parrot is this?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize