Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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