I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
