You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
