Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i will never coherently bang her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
