I think i sorta joined a cult last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
