I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
