I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
