HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
