thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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