two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
