Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
