So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
