He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
