Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
