i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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